Friday, March 09, 2007


I used to think I found serenity in a forest. I thought I found stillness there.

I stand corrected.

I have never felt so still, so completely part of the world as when I sat late at night in a muted hospital room beside my father.

The suck and hiss of his breath had the same effect as a soft tide rattling a shingle beach. Hours would pass easily, broken only by the weak wave of a skeletal hand, adjustments of pillows, quilts and body or a gentle touch to my cheek.

I believe in family lines; blood, whether one likes it or not, binds family. I felt that chasm open in the moment my first child was born, and I walked along the path beside it with my father while in that hospital room.

My father walked that path with a courage and strength of will that is inspiring. He did not trip into the vast purple unknown, he stepped out strong when the chasm widened before his feet.

His grandchildren play in the grass behind me. I stand on the edge, waving.


Blogger Red said...

Hey Baker. This is a beautiful tribute to your Dad. From what I've gleaned from this and Candy's blog, he was an extraordinary man, brave and inspiring, a fighter. And I'm so sorry for your loss.

You are right: blood does bind family. No doubt you have already seen your Dad's strength in yourself, and you will see it in your children one day.

1:47 AM  
Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Guess my wife and I have much in common, since I too was going to use the exact phrase "beautiful tribute", UB.

Truly evocative words.

5:34 AM  
Blogger tweetey29 said...

Thanks for stopping by the one I had posted. I just got to see your post here.

You are right about blood ties lines though. I could go on about myself but I wont. Lets just put it in simple words. My step father adopted me when I was about five and I met my real father when I was 15 and have been in contact with him since.

My aunt passed away this last week also so I know the hurt and sorrow you are feeling. Hope all is well with you. Stop by my reg blog anytime.

2:46 PM  
Blogger Cynnie said...

Lucky lucky you!..
and lucky daddy!

You guys all got to be together and say goodbye..

My daddy died unexpectedly and alone..and it left this huge hole
I'm still grieving after 20 odd years.
That was beautiful baby!

2:41 AM  

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